Saturday, August 30, 2008

Resolving interpersonal conflicts

During my national service, I was a regimental policeman in a naval base. Our responsibility was mainly to ensure that security was not being compromised in the base. In short, our duties basically involve doing hours of sentry work and prowling around the base. We have to be on duty once every two weeks and were given an off the following day. When it came to the third week, our duty schedule was determined by the amount of manpower needed to fill up all the positions in the base. Thus if there was insufficient manpower, we will be activated back to base to be on duty at the discretion of our section commander JX. Weekends were very precious to us so we will go to great lengths to try to escape from doing duty on weekend.

I remembered that was one incident where JX had to activate 3 of us for duty on a particular Saturday. In our section, there were 7 of us including JX. So on Friday, he gathered all of us in our bunk to discuss who should be activated. Subsequently, he told us who he will be activating this Saturday. Naturally, those who were chosen turned defensive and argued with him, citing reasons such as they had did their fair share of duty previously and they already had appointments over the weekend. Then, JX changed his mind and ask those who were not chosen initially to volunteer for duty instead. Those people who were not chosen initially became upset on too on why they should volunteer for duty and started to argue back with JX. Out of frustration, JX spewed vulgarities at us and scolded us for being too selfish. In the end, he simply walked out of the bunk, leaving the rest of us to further debate on who should do duty instead.

I must admit JX was in a difficult position since he had to do the unpleasant task of selecting people for duty. Perhaps there is a better way of handling this type of situation. What will you do if u were placed in such a situation ? :)

10 comments:

Hui Xuan said...

Hi Wei Kwan,

If I were JX I would see if there is anyone that has not done as much as the rest and I would put them on duty for that Saturday. If everyone has done their fair share of work, I will allow them to draw lots to see who will be doing the duty on that Saturday. In order to be fair, I will do the duty on Saturday too. I will also ensure that only after everyone has completed the round of doing duty on Saturdays, will the next round of activating them to do duty again start. Hopefully this can prevent them for complaining.

Wei Kwan said...

Hey Huixuan,

That seems like a good idea ! :) Personally, I did drawing lots is fair if everyone had done their fair share of duty. If I don't remember wrongly, JX did part of what you suggested; he volunteered for duty on Saturday. Some of us volunteered to fill up the other positions.

Yu Ming said...

To lead by example is a good option as Hui Xuan stated. However, the problem arose because a fair system was not in place given that it is just the 3rd week. Therefore, instead of deciding beforehand by himself and later reconsider the group approach when faced with resistance, JX's should have first opted to discuss with everyone and decide in a group how and what the fair system should be. It is difficult to please everyone equally and hence by offering an opportunity to decide collectively would help mitigate the 'biasness' of the selection process.

Oxy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Oxy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Oxy said...

Hello Wei Kwan,

I agree with Yu Ming and Hui Xuan that a fair system should have been drawn up in the first place.

I also feel that as a leader, he should be firm. it is hard for people to trust and respect one who changes his decision every time someone argues against it.

Unless they have legitimate reasons (meeting up with girlfriend/ family dinner are not considered to be so), he should have stuck to his plan. People may be unhappy initially, but I believe that they will come to understand and respect it as long as it is fair.

Wei Kwan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wei Kwan said...

Hey Oxy,

I agree with you that a basic tenet of leadership is to be firm. I'm not exactly a good leader but in my opinion, I think JX is not demonstrating effective leadership since he is rather indecisive which can be seen by his decision to change the people he selected for duty initially.

Given his authority as a section commander, he should have stuck to his plan like what you said. If his decision was a fair one and that is bearing in mind that he had thoroughly think about it before making a decision, he should not be afraid that people will dispute his decision.

Wei Kwan said...

Hey Yuming,

I agree with you on the part that instead of deciding beforehand by himself and later reconsider the group approach when faced with resistance, JX should have first opted to discuss with everyone and decide in a group how and what the fair system should be. It is another fair way of trying to solve the problem.

However, things were very political back then in my section. On the surface, we seem to be friends with one another. But when it comes to duty, we will actually really go to great lengths to make sure we can escape from duty on the weekend. Some of us will even try to use our seniority to volunteer for duties on weekdays so that they can have a reason to escape from weekend duty by simply arguing that they have done their fair share of duty. In short, if there are any systems, we will try our best to utilize the loopholes of the system. So I guess discussing things will not be fruitful when everyone is only thinking for himself.

Brad Blackstone said...

Thanks for this clear and concise problem scenario, Wei Kwan. It's interesting, especially for those of us who know nothing of the national service.

One language issue involves reporting speech i the past: "Subsequently, he told us who he will(WOULD) be activating this Saturday."

Another involves use of the modal verb in the conditional sentence: "What will(WOULD) you do if u were placed in such a situation ?"